|
Monday, August 11, 2008, 9:38 PM
Good Complexion
Once I was mesmerized by the amazing sight of the stars and raindrops. The illusion of people saying that the stars was beautiful was not explained. "I love view of the stars. I look the tiny,little raindrops that falls onto the ground". The first impression of the stars was phenomenal. The first appearance played a powerful role in to the people around you. Everyone is born with their weakness and strength. No one is never satisfied with what they had,including me. I don't deny, the feeling of envious strikes suddenly. But the feeling of jealousy was only meant that, "Oh wow. I wished". Your choice to read.Long post. Every individual or to be precise, every girl was not perfect but they would do any means to stay pretty and beautiful. Minority would have already have born so beautiful that whatever flaws they had was not even being outlooked.We are never satisfied with what we had. While some are thin, want to become thinner. They starved themselves to make themselve look much more prettier. Does looking anorexic makes them look "HOT"? I don't think so. Much more they look like a piece of long bamboo pole. I do get annoyed when people who are thin, and say that , " OMG! I sure to gain weight today after eating all these buffet. I sure going to go exercise tomorrow". Well, your choice. I'm just stating my views. =)  They looked horrible! I can't deny that seeing people will flawless skin was my ultimate weakness. I never have a good complexion. I suffered bad acnes when I was in Sec 3. That was the most horrible experience I ever had. Imagine, going to school,bare face, people looking at you, was so challenging for me. To be exact, I'm pretty much sensitive when people talked about my skin problem. I once break down when I was made fun of.Yeah. Try to question me with the medications that I tried. I really spent a bomb on just "pimple creams". Oxy, Clean&Clear,Rosea T, Witch Hazel, Green Tea, Eucerin, h20, Mustika Ratu(malay medication), Avon, Dr Secret I try them all. None works. I went for to see s doctor. It wa good but as the time goes by, my skin does not show any difference. Imagine for the next 4 months, I need to see the doctor. Creams,antibiotics,sunsreen was already $100 and when consult with the doctor additional $30 was needed. I can faint. But what can I do? I'm like any other girl who want pretty skin,flawless. My mum asked me to stop buying from the doctor. And my skin was becoming redder,swollen and the pimples were bigger than ever. I feel so embarassed to even go out. I wished I could just stay at home forever. It was the most saddening moment of my life. Seeing everyone being able to use make-up,looking freshed and clean, while me, *sigh*. Imagine going out in the morning,looking so refreshingly clean and matt skin, and the next 1 hour, your skin was already shiny like a wok. I usually use the oil blotter, and when i wipe it on my face,omfg.Its like I pour my face with 1 bottle of cooking oil. And thus other friend reaction was " eeeewww!!so oily!" Where in my heart, I could only bleed inside.You have naturally beautiful skin. I know that.  i wished... Fyi, I never wear make-up like blusher/foundation. Powder was the only thing I use but I still know that powder could also make my skin condition worsen so I switched to baby powder. And to the extend I went to research ingredients that could aggravate my skin condition. Yeah, most of the ingredients was on the products I used! And so, everything went into the bin. You might be asking, why am I ranting this out where what you can do is to improve yourself and blah blah blah. Yeah. I know. Its never easy. I do really have low self-esteem. I don't even dare to look myself in the mirror. Its so terrying. Sometimes when walking, when people were to look at me, I held my head down so that they could not see my acne. Some girls might give a big fuss like , "ewwww!i have 1 pimple one my nose! not pretty already!". And i swear they can rant it for the rest of the week. Well hello. I have umpteen more pimples than you. So do I need to make HUGE fuss on it too?? Till now, I still have. Sometimes my condition ws good, and sometimes it will go 100% worse. Its really disheartening. Why can't I just accept myself? Hahaha. With my condition like this, how am I able to face the world.Even now looking for job required a good appearance. Maybe for you its just a minor thing, but for me, its different. Totally different. Imagine I eat fried food like 3x a month, forced myself to eat vegetables that i hate, drinking more water, fruits but what's the result I got? No improvement still. Tell me how am i able to improve my self-esteem? I know, nurawr once told me why think about your flaws why not flaunt your strength. My strength?hmmm... I'm tall even though its only 163cm, and I'm proud of it. I have fair skin and I love it. I have small hands and feet and I find it cute. I have balanced lips and I think its good. I have white and straight teeth and don't need a braces. Just based on physical appearance :) So why not flaunt it? Everything comes in a package, with a good complexion, it would be a plus point to me. Reading magazines, looking at models,students with absolute flawless was a heartbreaking moment for me. Everyday, I would asked myself " when am i able to have flawless skin. when?". Currently the product that I used is good but really expensive. I would do anything to have a good complexion for myself. And not to boss around. So girls, take care of your skin. Don't be like me, you gonna regret for the rest of your life. So tell me now,am I fit to join the cabin crew where their 2nd cateria= Good complexion, no pimples no scar. Obviously i know the answer. But I gonna worked hard and go for New York Skin Solution. =) I need to pursue my dreams too!  Can i become like one of them? wished everything would turn out well :) |