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Saturday, May 10, 2008, 5:33 PM
something that i've been keeping to myself for so long....don't have to read it if u don't want to.just my rant. I wished that I don't need to face problem every single day. I wished that I don't need to put on a fake smile. I wished that I don't need to face anyone. Thinking about everthing. I thought that I don't need to be in the same spot again, but...i need to face it again. I don't know whats wrong with everyone. Seems like I'm transparent to them. Seems like they are doing their own things. Busy with their own stuff. I could no longer belong to them anymore. Maybe I'm just a stranger. Maybe I need to find my own interest rather than depending on everyone, he once said " You're independent girl. You don't need to depend on others". Maybe its true. Doing my own stuff, being happy, being able to smile, tears of joy, ignoring people around me. But I can't be selfish to ignore those people around me.What if they need a shoulder to cry on? What if they need my help? What if no one is able to help them?.......... But on the other side, Do they even think about me? Why aren't they there for me when I needed them the most? Why aren't they there for me when I needed the greatest help from them? Why can't I even find a shoulder to cry on? Why can't I even hug a person when I'm feeling super down? where? where are they??? tell me now?who is selfish?who am i to them? why can't they understand me? I'm not asking much. I just want someone to be there for me.....for me....thats all. Is it difficult? Is it??? why am always the one to give in? If they think that I'm a burden to them, if they think that i'm not important to you anymore, if you think that i'm not worthy to be your friend...TELL ME. I don't mind. I don't mind having to carry all the burden to myself. I don't mind to keep everything to myself. I don't mind to cry to sleep. I don't mind to be anti-social. ONE THING.... don't regret.....don't regret when i'm gone...
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